Uh-oh
My brother Jerry (the ELCA pastor) will be rubbing his hands in glee--the denomination selector put me as a Lutheran. Ack. :-)

Here are my results:

1. Lutheran Church-Missouri Synod
2. Evangelical Lutheran Church
3. Church of Christ
4. Episcopal/Anglican Church
5. Presbyterian Church in America/Orthodox Presbyterian Church
6. Reformed Churches
7. Eastern Orthodox Church
8. International Church of Christ
9. Methodist/Weslyian Church
10. Assemblies of God

Not that Lutheranism is so bad, but I find it kind of annoying how hung up they are on their denominational distinctives. I really thought I would come out Episcopal or Reformed Churches as my top choices. If you could kick out the really wacky liberals, the Episcopalians have a lot of good things going for them. I attended a fabulous CRC church when I was taking courses at Michigan State in East Lansing. I'd have more fondness for my current denomination (PCA) if liturgical worship had made any inroads here in Philadelphian Presbyterianism. I'll save that particular gripe for another post. *sigh*

A disclaimer
While I've been blogging for over a year now, I don't think I've waxed theological more than about twice. The primary reason for this is not because I have no opinion, but because I am a big coward.

My husband is a hundred times more articulate than I will ever be regarding matters biblical, theological and philosophical. I've also met some very articulate blogging women like Barb and Sarah, whose opinions usually make me think, "Yeah, that's exactly right." I have a hard time believing I have anything worthwhile to add to the debate.

However, I do have a pretty unique perspective on many theological topics. My religious heritage is extremely mongrel. My mother was raised Roman Catholic, my father, nominal Methodist. My parents have been in six or seven denominations in their 55 years of marriage. I've been in the somewhat schizophrenic Christian Missionary Alliance, the Quaker-offshoot Evangelical Friends, the Southern Baptist Church, the Brethren in Christ, and have even explored Penecostal beliefs before I became involved in the PCA. My oldest brothers are ordained in the Canadian Anglican and Evangelical Lutheran churches. My sister is a charismatic who attends a Willow-Creek-style church and my third brother is a closet Baptist who attends a United Methodist church. Some probably see my backgound as a serious liability, but I think I simply have more colorful baggage than most.

Where has this circuitous route led me? I'm quite keen on liturgy, prayer book, paedobaptism, partial-preterism, and what some call "ecclesiocentrism." I know I have some kindred spirits out there, and some hidden opponents who are likely sharpening their knives right now.

With some serious trepidation, I will be sticking my toe in the pool a little in the coming months, in hopes that rather than lose phalanges to the sharks, the dolphins will invite me in to swim.

For fun
Here's another of my poems, this one previously published in About Such Things, spring 1997 issue.

Gilbert

My friend Gilbert
had the kind of face
you'd see on milk cartons
on rainy Thursday mornings
that puddle in your brain
without a grain of sense
or purpose but dripdrip drip.

Gil played games
that brought down bullies
to less than larger-than-life
lugs we could look in the eye
and not cringe.

Gil's games
made emperors of roaches
and elf queens of
bucktoothed, freckled girls
that are good at math
and can't sing.

Gil thought thoughts
that entered me like
garlic and permeated blood
and lungs and skin,
reeking and lusty of life,
lingering in the pores
for days.

copyright L. J. Webster, 1997

Blogger day
Today Joel and Claire and I drove down to Baltimore for a blogger get together at Valerie's place. It was really an enjoyable time--thanks again, Valerie! In addition to meeting our lovely hostess for the first time, we also met Sarah G. (but not Bailey :-( ), Brian D., Paulo O. and Daniel S. It was the second time I'd met Daniel, but the first time meeting everyone else.

My big surprise was to discover that Sarah and I are nearly the same height. I thought she would be really short after seeing a photo of her and Duane on his site. But no, it's simply the case that Duane is a giant. ;-)

It is kind of a strange experience to meet in person people you've followed online for a while, I must admit. First, it's easy to have a skewed picture of their personalities because the online medium doesn't allow you to experience others' mannerisms, voice tone, etc. that convey so much when we communicate in person. Second, there's a certain level of "I know you, but I don't know you" weirdness to get past. I'm really glad to have had the opportunity, though. I think I will read their blogs differently now, with a genuine voice and face behind each.

Remembering...teen angst
I've been listening to a "best of" Toto collection and it struck me that the tunes I liked best from this group were the really depressing ones. Here's a really uplifing example:

If I had another chance tonight
I'd try to tell you that the things we had were right
Time can erase the love we shared
But it gives me time to realize just how much you cared

Now you're gone, I'm really not the same
I guess I held myself to blame
Time can erase the things we said
But it gives me time to realize that you're the one who's sad

You know I won't hold you back now
The love we had just can't be found
You know I can't hold you back now

Now that I'm alone it gives me time
To think about the years that you were mine
Time can erase the love we shared
But it gives me time to realize just how much you cared

Yeah, it's pretty pedestrian as poetry goes. I often wonder why bleak stuff was so appealing to me as a teen. I wasn't a Goth externally, but I did tend to sit around writing dreck like Winona Rider's character in Beetlejuice..."I am alone. I am so utterly alone."

Ah, but I also really liked Devo, the Dr. Demento radio show and doing extremely weird things like walking with friends around neighborhood streets, with flashlights, in pairs, pretending to be cars. Or breaking into a cemetery to eat pizza with the dead.

Hmm. It must be small town life that makes one alternately depressive and loony.

Post-Christmas slump
The first few days after Christmas with the Garvers is like coming down off of a big sugar high. As one of five kids, I am very unaccustomed to the extravagant gift-giving that goes on with my husband's family on Christmas Eve. By the next day I usually feel as overwhelmed and cranky as any toddler would under the circumstances. I suppose I should have expected as much marrying an only child.

Not that I'm not grateful to be a recipient of his parents' generosity. I just have trouble processing the sensory overload. Our solution to keep Claire on even-keel was to buy her very little ourselves: one book, one toy and two outfits. We gave her the toy Christmas morning. The clothing went quietly into her closet. We inscribed the book and put it in her bookcase. Next year, when she will be more aware of what's going on, I think we'll have to work something out with Joel's folks to spread out the gift opening over several days or something like that.

They certainly do have good taste. Claire got lots and lots of books, some beautiful clothes and the coolest toy ever, Music Blocks. It enables kids to compose music. Each block plays a different musical phrase, and each block can play one of six different instrumental sounds, depending on which side is up. You switch in different base casettes--Bach, Mozart or Jazz, for instance--to get a variety of music phrases and instruments. We were all having a ball playing with it.

Speaking of balls, Nicky surprised us Christmas morning by fetching a kitty tennis ball that Keats got in his stocking. Our previous attempts to teach him to fetch anything had been fruitless. Whenever we threw a ball or stick, he would just look at us, head tilted, as if to say, "Huh? Whatcha doin"?" (Well, he is a husky mix, bred for pulling sleds, not a retreiver.) Wednesday morning, Joel tossed the ball to Keats, and Nicky caught it in mid-air and brought it back. Will wonders never cease?

Let's name baby Horne!
Mark and Jenn are being so hush-hush about their name choices for their fourth child; do you think they've picked something yet? Joel and I were discussing this last night. They need a name for their daughter that will fit with her siblings' names. The boys, Calvin and Nevin, are named after theologians. And Evangeline is a Bible-based name. We also noticed that all three of them have a "V" in their name. So here are some suggestions that we came up with:

Our top choices
Devorah (Deborah)
Geneva
Olivia (peaceful)
Vivian/Vivienne (life, lively)

Second tier
Davita (fem. of David)
Eve
Rivkah (Rebecca)

Names with V that aren't Biblical
Sylvia (forest maiden)
Evelyn (pleasant)
Averill (April)
Ivy
Avery (ruler of elves)

So let's hear your vote. What name would you pick to complete this set: Calvin, Nevin, Evangeline and _______?

Nuptial fashion
Okay gals, after so many requests, here are a few photos from my wedding. Since we don't have a scanner, we took digital photos of photos, so these aren't the best possible quality....



Here I am with my two attendants. All of our dresses are based on the same pattern, an 1809 "Daywear" dress. My sister's (red) sticks to the basic pattern. My matron of honor's dress (green) was modified to be a maternity dress. Sylvia was about 6 months pregnant here. My dress has a collar added, an overskirt of lace, and a cape sort of train with thin straps that went over each arm. The train is based on fashion plates from ladies' magazines of the era.



Here's a photo taken in natural light. You can see the straps to the train in this shot, though they are intended to kind of blend into the bodice of the dress itself.



Here's a back shot of the train. The ribbon roses were a sort of '90s touch I'd seen in bridal magazines. Georgian-era dresses would have just had elaborate trim or braid around all the edges.



Here comes the bride.... Can you tell I am much happier to be here than Dad is? This shot shows off the lace really well. I'd seen a Georgian dress in a museum with nearly this same pattern embroidered on it.



An obligatory cake-cutting shot. Joel and the guys (p-duggie and my brother) wore morning coats, striped pants, vests, ascots and shirts with the collars folded high. It was the closest we could approximate. Authentic menswear of the era would have meant shorter vests and pants that button up to bottom of the ribs.



And here's the infamous check-writing photo. :-)

Two Towers…some initial gut-reactions
Last night, Joel and I got a sitter and went on a real date for our anniversary. We had dinner out and saw the Two Towers.

While the Fellowship of the Ring film exceeded my expectations in every way, I think Two Towers is more of a mixed bag.

First, the positive. The film’s portrayal of evil, of an overwhelming malign will bent on destruction, is unparalleled. In fact, as the Helm’s Deep situation began to unfold, I had to flee to the ladies’ room for a breather. I sat in a stall, crossed myself and recited parts of the Breastplate of St. Patrick, “Christ with me, Christ before me, Christ behind me, Christ in me, Christ beneath me, Christ above me.…” I clung to Joel’s arm and trembled when the first waves of Orcs attacked Helm’s Deep. It is a terrifying scene in the extreme.

Gimli is just fantastic in this film. He adds a lot of heart and much-needed levity at just the right moments. And Golem is a wonder to behold. He is indeed pitiable and loathesome at the same time—and what a range of emotion and facial expressions from a computer-animated character!

The new heartthrob du jour? Definitely Faramir. He makes Aragorn look like a scruffy ruffian and Eomer, an 80’s metal band flunkie. I certainly wouldn’t mind seeing a whole lot more of him on screen (as in more time, nothing naughty!) :-) Lucky, Lucky Eowyn! Boy is she in for a big treat in the next film.

The Ents…well, they were mostly really cool. When viewed up close, they are every bit the ancient, mighty, crush-everything-in-your-path kind of heroic beings. They just seemed a bit too willowy and fragile when viewed at a distance. In the scene where they ravage Saruman’s stronghold, I kept wavering between, “Yeah! Go Ents, go!” and “Oh, dear, will the poor Ents be okay?”

My big disappointment was Rohan. This is my “most favoritest” part of Middle Earth, and Jackson’s vision didn’t quite measure up to my expectations. In part, that’s because he got Hobbiton so dead-on. Why weren’t the villages, and Edoras in particular, surrounded by herds of grazing horses? These are supposed to be the horse lords! And where are the stables? I was expecting big, elaborate stable complexes in Edoras. Also, the people all seem like a bunch of extras. I didn’t have a sense that there was a cohesive culture, with commerce and other signs of daily life going on in the towns.

My other big hang up was the scene inside the armory at Helm’s Deep when Aragorn and Legolas converse. Suddenly, I’m no longer looking at a green-eyed elf, but Orlando Bloom’s naked brown eyes! What the heck? Why would Jackson the detail guru let Bloom be filmed with the wrong eye color, then let that take make it into the final print? Joel thinks it’s a deliberate gaffe to see if anyone noticed.

Now I have to watch the film again, so see if there are other such gaffes! :-)

Four years ago today...
I head off for my 9 a.m. hair appointment. One hour, 30 hot rollers and 80 hairpins later, my shoulder-length hair is transformed into a lovely array of curls piled on the back of my head. But alas, I now must drive back to the apartment in my headpiece and veil. Why didn't I drag Mom along? Okay, I must be sitting on my veil, because I can't turn my head to check for oncoming traffic. Grr. Okay, through that intersection. Gosh, people are honking and waving as they pass me...

Mom is still pressing her dress when I get back. I'm feeling stir crazy. I haven't packed for the honeymoon yet. Where is that list of phone numbers I gathered for my sis-in-law? Where is the knife and cake server? My engagement ring is dirty! Ack! Ack! Ack!

Mom heads off to collect my sister and niece from a friend's house. Dad helps me load my gown and other items into the car. I expect his usual softie side to come pouring out on the drive into the city, but no, he is clinging to the car's hand grip in white-knuckled terror. "Do you have to drive so fast?" he asks. I'm going 40 mph. Dad hates the city.

Since I'm stuck in the veil, I have to hide from Joel all morning. My matron of honor acts as my spy. When the coast is clear, I head downstairs to dress. I really wanted to help set things up, but friends and relatives shoo me away.

I'm trying to write a check for the caterer with wet nails when the photographer arrives. She snaps a shot of me in this crazy position.

We go up to the sanctuary to start taking photos. When I appear, my friends who make up a little vocal ensemble stop their practice to whistle and hoot. "It's Elizabeth Bennett! No! Emma Woodhouse!" I smile and blush. I do feel just like an Austen heroine in my tafetta, satin and lace, fashioned after an 1809 dress pattern.

I can't wait to see Joel.

At last
I've finally dropped a few more pounds of pregnancy weight after a two month plateau. Just five more pounds to go.

Of course, after that I need address the extra pounds gained from a rigorous round of ice cream therapy for infertility. And yes, thank you, ice cream therapy did work for me! :-)

Holiday greetings
We just finished stuffing and mailing our Christmas cards. We usually include a little holiday newsletter--a tradition I started when I was single. Back then the publication was called "Laurel's Leaves," now it's the "Garver Gazette." We post an expanded version online. Click here to view.

Poor Joel
He's awfully congested. This morning he was singing along with a Christmas CD..."Deh's doh payce dike ohm foh da howwidaze." Hopefully the theraflu will kick in soon.

Template update
I asked Joel to update my blog template so that visitors don't have to scroll down to start reading entries. He decided to "celt-ify" it too by adding the knotwork backgound, since I am a big fan of Irish music. I told him that if he added horseshoes and quill pens among the knots he would just about have me wrapped up. But that would be really ugly. ;-)

Shingles club
Wow, people seem to be coming out in droves to proclaim they have had shingles as a young person. This was once considered an elderly people disease. I wonder if our disinfected, vaccinated world is making us more suceptible to this type of auto-immune problem. I have a genetic predisposition of immune weakness to varicella and zoster. My grandmother had zoster 5 or 6 times in her lifetime.

Anyone in addition to Annie, Mark and me in the shingles club?

A shot or not a shot?
So, President Bush thinks the general public should begin being immunized for smallpox. That sounds like such fun. Aren't you eager to rush to your doctor to be stabbed repeatedly in the arm with a bifurcated needle, then be sick for 2-3 weeks, and possibly get a mild form of the disease?

We're publishing an article on the smallpox vaccine in the magazine I work for. Trying to find illustations was really fun. The CDC has all kinds of pretty photos of people who spread the virus to themselves by scratching the injection site. Tapioca skin. Mmm. Lovely.

I now know I'm in a high risk group for complications from the vaccine because I've already had herpes zoster (shingles) twice, at age 5 and age 26. So I certainly won't be storming my doctor's office to volunteer.

What's your opinion? Get the shot or not?

Labeling laws
I think the obstetricians and pediatricians should get together to develop warning labels for babies:

WARNING
The cute neonate you are about to receive is an effective biological weapon that can and will spread numerous, very contagious, viral and bacterial pathogens to you and members of your immediate family. Kiss and cuddle at your own risk.

Okay, so I'm less than thrilled to be recovering from my second cold in less than three weeks. Joel is also now sick.

Thanks for sharing, Claire. What a giving kid. *sigh*

Another survey
From Valerie

1. Which blogger have you known longest online only?
Jenn H. (Jenn's blog) We started e-mailing over two years ago, before either of us had blogs.

2. Which blogger have you known longest IRL?
Paul D. (Hierogrammate). We met 9 years ago, when I was logistics coordinator on the singles' group retreat committee and he volunteered to help us.

No wait, I've known Jonathan F. (Great Scot) even longer. We met in August 1986, when we were freshmen at Messiah College.

3. Which blogger have you spent the most time with IRL?
Joel (Sacra doctrina)--it's hard to avoid when you're married.

4. Which blogger would you most like to meet IRL (that you haven’t met IRL)?
Jenn (Jenn's blog). She has been a very supportive friend over the past few years. We also went to the same college and have many other things in common.

5. Which blogger do you think has the best blog design?
Joel (Sacra doctrina). I really love the photo. (Probably because I took it. Hee hee.) I really like Kristen's site (In the Shadowlands) too. Nice art, easy to navigate, excellent continuity of design.

6. Which blogger do you like most to argue with?
I'm generally not fond of arguing.

7. Which blogger makes you laugh the most?
Duane (Amber Bach). His humor is very reminiscent of my goofy brother Steve, who kept me laughing through a difficult childhood.

8. Which blogger intimidates you the most?
Emeth (Emeth Hesed Smith). She speaks several languages fluently, knows HTML and is very articulate and accomplished for her young age. I'm also very, very intimidated by SAHMs (though I'm not naming any names), mostly because I worry that they think I am evil for being an employed mom.

9. Which blogger do you most wish would post more often?
Wayne (Carrifex). Ah, but wait, he seems to be making up for lost time now!

10. Which blogger do you most wish would get a comment system?
Jonathan F. (Great Scot). I'd love to ask him questions about his life in Taiwan that he is carefully chronicling.

For Barb: a holiday ditty

(To the tune of "White Christmas")

I'm dreaming of a blood-bay Hanoverian
Who does the horse-ballet, dressage.
In his equine toe-shoes,
He does some smooth moves
And makes the judges gasp in awe.

I'm dreaming of a blood-bay Hanoverian
And as I while away the hours
I yearn for ribbons and trophies and flowers
And the Olympic team relying on my powers.

Just what I need...a stylin' time machine





What's Your Movie Dream Car?

by Auto Glass America

I especially like the idea of never being late again!

Thanks to Valerie for this link.

Travel tips?
Yesterday I bought my plane tickets for Florida. I'm heading south with Claire for my mom's 75th birthday in February. I also want Dad to get a chance to meet Claire while he is still mostly lucid. His dementia is getting pretty bad and I suspect that by spring he will need to move over to the skilled nursing building in their retirement community.

I'm frankly pretty nervous about getting around airports with Claire and her gear by myself. The flight down is nonstop, and I'll have to change planes in Charlotte, N.C. on the way home.

Mom is going to borrow a travel crib and maybe even a car seat. I'm debating whether to take our Metrolite stroller (15 lbs.) or the cheapo umbrella stroller (about 9 lbs.).

Any of you seasoned parents have travel tips for flying with a 5 1/2 month old?

A relative-ly fun Thanksgiving
For the first time in quite a while, I got to see all three of my brothers on a holiday weekend.

We spent Thanksgiving with my brother Jerry in Souderton, Pa., where he pastors a Lutheran Church. The next day we drove to Fredericksburg, Va. to stay a few days with my brother Steve, who is an engineer. Our oldest brother Tom, an Episcopal priest, came up from North Carolina to see us and meet Claire. (Yes, I have brothers named Tom and Jerry. They were born prior to the cartoon, but during the years my parents were into cocktail culture. A Tom and Jerry is apparently a kind of alcoholic punch.)

My niece and nephew, who are 8 and 10, took quite a shine to their new cousin. Claire actually laughed out loud for the first time while there, she had so much fun playing.



A highlight of the trip for me was a visit to Scrapdoodles, a scrapbooker's dream store. I didn't go too hog wild, though it was tempting. I can't wait to play with my new papers, punches and stickers! Anyone want to come babysit so that I can make scrapbooks?

Quiz answers
I patiently waited, but only got 18 takers for my friendship quiz. I closed the quiz this morning. Here are the promised answers.

1. My maiden name is...Webster
That’s right, I’m a genuine D.A.R. My ancestors, which include the colonial governor of Connecticut, have been in America since the 1600s. Lexicographer Noah Webster is a distant cousin. My branch of the family moved steadily west over six generations and eventually settled in Montana.

2. In high school band, I played... Xylophone, bells, chimes, marimba, vibraphone, cymbals and tympani
Thanks to a student teacher who borrowed instruments from his university, I got the opportunity to play the more exotic end of mallet percussion during concert season. I was beginning to learn four mallet technique my senior year.

If you’ve ever watched the percussionists at a band or symphony concert, you know it’s a crazy dance for us, switching among as many as six instruments in one piece of music. Some other instruments in my repertoire include bass drum, cowbell, finger cymbals, tambourine, triangle, claves, cabasa, duck call and brake drum (as in the car part, played with brass mallets).

3. My best subject in high school was…social studies
I won an award at graduation for the highest academic average in this subject. The only Cs I ever received were in phys ed. I never took Latin, and if you recall my post on lab blunders, you'd know chem lab was not my strong suit.

4. In college, my extracurricular activities were...theatre, music ministry and literary magazine
Since I didn’t own an instrument, band wasn’t an option in college. I did, however, keep up the tendency to overextend myself in extracurricular activities.

5. My favorite movie is…Amadeus
Humor, intrigue and fantastic music…who could ask for anything more?

Emma is in my top 10. Waking Life is one of the most incoherent pieces of pseudo-philosophical dreck I've yet endured. Hunt for Red October was ok, but not something I'd watch repeatedly.

6. My favorite author is…Susan Howatch
Her Starbridge novels are totally addicting and her psychological approach is far more readable than Henry James’. (I’m surprised that some of you actually thought I liked trashy Danielle Steele novels. Egads.)

7. What advanced degree do I have? MJ, Master of Journalism
Creative writing was a good guess, since I did study writing at the graduate level at Michigan State for several terms. (It was an MA program, however, not MFA.) I was later able to transfer credits to Temple University’s journalism school.

8. Which denomination was I born into? Christian Missionary Alliance
Most reformed people would be find this denomination odd. For example, I was allowed to take communion without being baptized. And the CMA decided to not take sides in the Calvinist vs. Arminian debate, but ordains pastors of either persuasion.

We attended a Southern Baptist church (not Independent Baptist) when I was in high school. My parents were PCUSA when they initially returned to the church after decades away from the faith. My oldest brother was ordained Canadian Anglican. (He's married to a Canadian. I've never lived in Canada, just visited.)

9. My hometown is...Williamsport, Pa.,onetime “Lumber Capital of the World,” and home of the Little League World Series, which I have never attended. I find baseball very boring.

10. I got married at the ripe old age of...30
Slow and steady wins the race. Joel and I met in 1995. We were friends for a year, dated for a year, were engaged for a year, then married in December 1998.