Thanks to Dawn and her talk of wine tastings, I am suddenly craving something alcoholic. I could really, really go for a Woodchuck dark and dry hard cider right now. :-(

It's been a while since I've had a chance to blog. My organization's annual convention was two weeks ago, which meant several long days producing a daily newspaper for the show, then returning to the office to whip together the May issue of our regular magazine. The May issue went to press this morning, and I can now breathe again.

And now for the real news...drumroll please....

After our last disappointing ultrasound, we got our wish of learning the gender. We will be having a GIRL!

I realize that ultrasounds are not 100% accurate for determining gender, but none of us--the tech, her trainee, Joel nor I--saw evidence of boy parts.

Come August, we will welcome to the world Claire or Johanna or Amelia. We will pick the final name at the hospital.

Since you all gave us such great prayer support while we were trying to conceive, I thought I'd mention our current challenge.

With Joel working full time in the fall, it means he will not be able to be the primary caregiver for the baby, as we had planned earlier. We are working out some preliminary plans for childcare in the fall and appreciate your prayers. Joel's schedule will be heavy on M, W, F and light on Tu, Th. I would like to telecommute on his light days so that I can be with the baby some during the week, but still be able to put in hours my employer expects of a full-time employee. It's possible that Joel's mom will help at least one day a week. We would like to find a Christian stay-at-home mom near us who might be willing to watch the baby a few days a week at a reasonable rate. It's a lot of details to work out by October, when my maternity leave will end.

We got some very good news regarding Joel's job situation starting this fall. But it's his news to tell, so let the spamming begin: Bug him at garver@lasalle.edu and perhaps he'll take a moment to blog about it.

I had my "big" ultrasound done on Tuesday, and it look's like we're going to have....a baby!

Nope, we weren't able to discover the gender of our incubating little one. S/he was face-down/spine up the whole time, with legs crossed at the knees. In fact, the tech couldn't even get a very good scan of the entire heart, just a side view, so I'm scheduled to go back for yet another ultrasound in three weeks. We're praying the insurance company doesn't have a cow!

So, the waiting continues. I'm gradually coming to accept the fact the we might not be able to learn the baby's gender ahead of time. I've never been too great with surprises, but that's a large part of parenthood, so I suppose I need to learn to deal with it now.

Keat's last pre-surgery feat was to haul an entire 4-pack of toilet paper halfway across the house and hide it in the guest bedroom. At 6.5 months old, and just under 8 pounds, this is quite a show of strength.

The neighborhood racoons had better beware!

Our feline son Mr. Keats had his surgery yesterday and seems to have fared just fine. Joel jokes that he is now a cat-strato.

He was just about as rambunctious as ever last night. We brought him with us from the vet's to Joel's parent's house for dinner and time using Dad's Turbo Tax program. While I filled in tax forms, Joel chased Keats all over, trying to keep him from destoying any of Mom's copious collection of knick-knacks. (I sure hope she realizes that she will need to pare down to make her place safe for the new grandchild to visit!)

We decided to let Keats keep his claws, since he hasn't been destructive and also because of the expense of the surgery. I hope our reward will be a continued mouse-free home.

I beat my record set on March 5, 2002.

Last night I went to bed at 5:30 p.m. and slept until 7:00 a.m. this morning. Is it a virus? The sin of sloth? Nope. The baby factory needed to run second and third shift. Another growth spurt must be imminent.

I'm beginning to suffer from blog withdrawal!

Points of interest since my last blog.
-Our book group held a dramatic reading of "Much Ado About Nothing." Joel and I played Beatrice and Benedict. It was great fun, though some of the lines are real tongue twisters.

-On Jenn's recommendation, we borrowed (free from the library, yeah!) the BBC/A&E miniseries Pride and Prejudice. I plowed through the six videos in just two days and enjoyed them immensely. The pacing was a bit closer to the actual book, and I think the film captured the right mix of humor and seriousness. My only complaint was that wicked Wickham was a bit too homely to be believable as the handsome rogue. The casting and costumes sure beat the BBC version of Mansfield Park, though. The women in that particular film had totally wrong hairstyles for the era, and rather unbecoming dresses. And I'm a huge fan on Georgian clothing--it's flattering to most body types. In fact, our wedding was Austen-themed.

-We received our first installment of baby hand-me-downs from church friends. We put the baby shoes on Nicky and laughed ourselves hoarse. Keats is fascinated by the rattles. He took a particular shine to a teething toy that plays "twinkle, twinkle, little star" and carried it off in his teeth to play with it some more. Both were fascinated and freaked out by this ball that makes all sorts of strange noises when you roll it on the floor. Each of them would poke it, then run away. It will really be amusing to see how they and the baby interact with the toys.

-We watched the BBC/A&E version of Emma that a friend lent us. I enjoyed Kate Beckinsale in the title role, but otherwise was disappointed with the film. The version with Gwyneth Paltrow was more engaging and funny, and the plot easier to follow. The overall feel of the latter film was far more warm, possibly owing to the more yellow-toned cinematography, and sunnier outdoor scenes. The BBC version felt overly gray and heavy. I generally consider Emma to be Austen's funniest novel.

Whoa! I think I'm feeling some kicking!

Pretty weird. It's like poke, poke, fizzzzzz, poke, ping, pull, fizzzz. What sort of acrobatics is this kids getting into? No wonder I've been so darned tired. Last night I napped from 5:30-7:15 and from 8:00 to 9:10, then went to bed at 10:15. In fact, I could use another nap right about now. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Well, I finally gave in to temptation.

Our friend Paul has been bugging me for years to join one of his monthly role-playing game sessions. I had been RPG-free since 1991, thank you very much, and hadn't played D&D since 1989. I'm not sure if my sense of sobriety has weakened, or simply that I felt compelled when Paul's wife reminded me that I would never have time for such frivolity once I'm a mom.

I can't say D&D has the hold on me that it did when I was in high school and my pal Becky and I would spend Saturdays playing on the phone, she as dungeon master and I controlling 4 or 5 characters. I think it used to make me feel powerful, something unusual for a skinny 14-year-old who's the youngest of 5 kids.

The game also doesn't have the hold it did in college. On a Christian college campus, playing D&D was considered equivalent to joining a coven, even though all of us players were Christians and none ever played evil characters. So it was kind of thrilling to have such an "underground" hobby. I also became more and more enchanted of trying on new roles and being in this pretend realm something I'd never be in real life--like a well-armed tough or a seductress. Theatre and writing became other outlets for those urges as well.

I sometimes wonder if it was actually theraputic for me to work though the unhappiness in my life, like growing up with a mentally ill parent, though these fairly safe outlets for fantasy.

I know now that I don't really need to be someone else, or even find any enjoyment in being someone else, because I've reached a certain sense of contentment with my life as it is. Who'd have thought I'd reach the day when I'd prefer to be a 30-something bookish editor with morning sickness who wears glasses and hates her thighs over a 22-year old half-elf paladin with gorgeous red hair, super-strength and charm galore? Call it a comprehension of grace.

To declaw or not to declaw, that is the question.

Our feline son Keats will reach his 6-month birthday next week and will be old enough to be neutered. What were're trying to decide now is whether to get him declawed in front while he's going in for the other procedule. The surgery is now done with lasers and is much less painful for the animal. As someone who grew up with outdoor cats and even barn cats, this whole indoor cat lifestyle (the litterboxes and toys, etc.) is new to me.

I can think of several reasons to not declaw: the expense, and loss of his ability to kill mice if we get some.

The reasons for the surgery are many: To prevent him climbing so much (like the curtains!) and clawing the furniture (though he hasn't wrecked anything yet). My bigger concern is how much he now claws us and how he might hurt the baby. Joel seems to think the neutering alone will calm down these bad behaviors, but I'm not so sure.

Any thoughts?

How does he do that?

I'm talking about Olympic silver medalist Evgeni Plushenko, the only man who can do what's called a Biellmann spin (lifting his free leg behind his back, and holding it over his head, fully extended, while spinning).

Here's how, according to an article in Sports Illustrated: His mother, Tatiana, wanted him to learn the move to improve his skating fortunes, so every night in the kitchen of their Volgograd home, she stood behind him and pulled his legs up in the Biellmann position, first the left one, then the right. He still frowns at the memory: "I told her, 'I'm a small boy. It's so much pain. I don't need this.' But we work every day and stretch hard. Now I say, 'Thank you, Mommy.' "

I had a bit of a scary experience last Thursday. I went for my monthly obstetrics appointment, and everything seemed fine. My bloodwork was all great--no anemia or rubella immunity problems. I'd only gained a pound in 4 weeks and my blood pressure was okay too. But when they tried to pick up a fetal heartbeat with a Doppler device, nothing. Neither the nurse or doctor could pick it up. I was getting kind of tense, so they sent me for another ultrasound right away.

Well, the baby was simply hiding under the placenta. S/he is growing well. The u/s tech did a very thorough scan, looked at several major organs and all the limbs. The spine especially was very visible. At first the baby was curled in a tight ball, the way Joel sometimes sleeps. Later s/he stretched out and started kicking and waving. I haven't felt any of this movement yet, so it was good to see the little one so active.

We now have a new pile of fuzzy, hard-to-distinguish photos to hang on the fridge. Joel hopes to scan a few for his site. Stay tuned.

Was the Canadian pairs team robbed? I'm not entirely sure. I watched the top medaling performances on tape last night, trying to ignore the commentators' comments and simply look at what they did. The Russians skated with more speed than anyone else. Their lifts were more complicated and dangerous. They did more interesting maneuvers between big elements. And yes, Anton nearly fell once. Their scores took a hit as a result.

The Canadians made no mistakes, no question. Buuuut, they didn't have the speed. Their routine was pretty straighforward and not especially risky. They didn't have as much expressiveness or unique elements as in their short program.

The top two were very close score-wise. That seems fair to their complex with a mistake vs. straightforward and clean performances. I have my doubts that this investigation into "score fixing" will uncover anything. It's a subjectively scored sport and the judges could easily back up their decisions.

Maybe the Cold War isn't really behind us yet?

I only saw some of the men's short progams last night before cueing up the VCR and heading to bed. I was amazed to see for the first time ever, a MAN spin while holding one leg above his head. It was Oksana Baiul's most breath-taking move--something I didn't know men were capable of doing. No wonder the guy has had a groin injury!

Joel stayed up later and told me about Todd Eldrige's performance. I feel sorry for the guy. I think he should have gone pro after the last Olympics so he can just enjoy his skating. He does well in every other competition, but cracks under the pressure. Run away, Todd! Go be great somewhere that the media doesn't hound you. Enjoy your gift and forget the stupid medals!

Last night Joel and I listened to several taped lectures by John Barach from a pastor's conference. I wanted to cheer. He totally hit the nail on the head regarding the issues that bug me most about our church. Time and again I become annoyed by the hoop jumping required for converts to be baptised, children to become communicants, and anyone to become a member. Requiring people to prove some spiritual attainment to be worthy of entering the life of the Body runs counter to what we say we believe--that salvation is all of grace, and a gift. It also, as he said, exposes an unhealthy tendency to make judgements about whether our brothers and sisters are "really elect."

I was especially moved by his examples of how rightly understanding election can help Christians who are struggling with temptation and sin. I found it really helpful, especially as I've begun coming to grips with my less than godly response to the crisis of infertility last year.

Morning sickness (or more aptly gestational nausea, since it lasts all day) has not been a fun experience. I realized last night just how unforgiving my body can be of poor food choices. I was so thirsty after napping that I drank two glasses of orange juice, followed by toast, followed by girl scout thin mints. Uugggh. grooooaaaan. Never, never, never again!! Acid + chocolate = ugly, ugly mess in tummy (or back out of it, as in my case).

Growing a baby is not glamorous work.

I can't keep the secret any longer.

I'm going to be a mom!!!

Today I'm 12 weeks pregnant, the point at which miscarriage risk drops dramatically. God really has a sense of humor because my due date is in mid-August! I'm already getting a lot of ribbing about the misfortune of being enormous during the hottest months of the year. Frankly, after 18 months of trying to start a family, we are thrilled to become parents at all.

What's even more ironic is that we conceived between my first and second visits to the fertility specialist. At the second visit, he diagnosed me with an incurable endocrine disorder and said I needed drugs. Little did he know, God had other plans. No drugs were necessary. I joked with him about this at a January appointment when we had the first ultrasound. He said, "maybe you just needed a deadline." Is being an editor that ingrained in me??

What a gorgeous day it is in Philadelphia! It's sunny and in the mid-60s. I actually ate a lovely picnic lunch in Washington Square Park (catty-corner from Independence Hall), soaked up some rays and read a few chapters of Children of God by Mary Doria Russell. Hard to believe it's January in the northeast. Surely we're doomed for a major blizzard come March, just like in 1993.

Well, this is a bit embarrassing to talk about, but it seems my 19-year-old nephew, a Grove City student, has gotten his girlfriend "in trouble." The shotgun wedding is slated for early March in California. They plan to begin college again in the fall at a new school.

What baffles me is this: he was raised overseas by missionary parents and even went though the special ceremony that 15-year-olds have in Latino churches. At this ceremony, the teen puts on a wedding band and promises chastity until marriage.

His older sister also fell into marriage very young. She dropped out of college after 1 semester in the US and ran back to Guatemala to marry a young man from her church. They had a baby about 15 months later.

So what is going on here? Are these kids just dealing with culture shock--choosing the Latino life of early marriage, or is it something else propelling them to marry so young? One of my sisters-in-law thinks that the whole chastity ceremony and constant talk about of sexual purity gives kids an inflated idea of how great sex is. (It's nice, but not the be-all and end-all of our existance as the media would have us believe.) She compared it to how some teetotaling families end up pushing their kids to drink by making alcohol so incredibly taboo that they are compelled to find out about it.

She might have something there. Wisdom and balance are really important in steering kids to make right choices.